Divorce is one of the most significant and life shaping events one will ever experience. Sometimes we want a divorce. Sometimes we don’t. Some relationships are too painful to remain a part of. Sometimes we are unable to control the outcome despite a great deal of effort and time at trying to.
People stay in difficult and painful relationships for many reasons including, finances, children, keeping the family intact, security, and familiarity. The relationship you have is the one that you know. There is security in living with what is familiar. Divorce may seem like you are being thrown into an abyss. Starting anew may feel daunting; claiming a new identity as a single person, re-evaluating finances and job status/responsibilities, becoming a single parent, dating, losing social supports, making new friends, being alone, stigma, status, shame. The picture can be overwhelming.
If this is a time when you are experiencing a divorce or separation, we will work towards healing the loss of the relationship you may have once had or dreamed of. We will seek to find clarity that is missing right now. No marriage, even one that ends, is meaningless! You may be asking yourself questions such as, "How did this happen to me? To us? What attracted me to this person? What was I looking for in my partner to fulfill in me? How can I trust myself to make a better choice in the future? How will I pick up the pieces of my life and start over?"
You may recognize a need to end your marriage while feeling a pull to stay in it. Pay attention to the parts of you that embrace the possibility of this change as well those parts that are resistant to it. Sadness, anger, fear, betrayal, despair, and loneliness are common feelings people encounter before, during and after a divorce or separation. Give yourself the opportunity to heal your pain, mourn the losses and re-shape your life into a healthier, more fulfilling one. There IS life after divorce and it can be better than you ever could have imagined!